The Transformative Power of Gratitude and Trust: Episode 2

Beyond Letting Go of Anxiety

I slowly sink into a leather sofa, taking a deep breath.

The table in front of me, with its rich wooden texture, exudes a quiet presence.

Resting on it is a glass of iced coffee, beads of condensation glistening on its surface, and a single white envelope placed neatly beside it.

I pick up the envelope with my fingertips, the texture of the paper feeling strangely vivid.

For a moment, a memory from the past resurfaces, sending a faint ripple through my chest.

But this time, it is not anxiety. Instead, it gently dissolves into the depths of my heart, leaving only a quiet sense of peace.

Tracing the edge of the envelope with my fingers, I savor the stillness of this moment.

There was a time when I feared each monthly payment, dreading the sight of my dwindling bank balance.

Every visit to the ATM to check my balance would stir unease in my chest, followed by a resigned sigh.

But now, that feeling has undeniably changed.

Opening this envelope no longer fills me with the tension it once did.

Instead, I find myself calmly absorbing its significance, with a newfound sense of understanding.

This is not merely a piece of paper. It is a testament to the steps I have taken, a key that opens doors to the future.

It is not something to fear but a reflection of my journey—a marker of where I have been and where I am going.

One of the most profound changes in my journey with Okane-san was learning how to engage with money differently.

I had come to understand the true nature of anxiety.

Yet, confronting it was far more challenging than I had imagined.

Even after resolving one worry, a new one would inevitably take its place.

Like endless waves, anxiety would return, over and over again.

But I chose to face each one, patiently and mindfully.

And slowly, the noise within me began to quiet.

Then, something remarkable happened.

My income began to grow.

Before I realized it, I had saved enough to cover several months of living expenses.

There was a time when saving seemed like an unattainable dream.

Back then, any money I managed to save would soon be depleted by unexpected expenses, bringing my balance back to zero.

It was a cycle I could never seem to break.

But now, little by little, money was accumulating, and with it, a sense of security.

It felt as though the foundation of my life was finally stabilizing.

Another surprising shift also occurred.

Despite reducing the amount of work I took on, my income increased.

In the past, whenever I felt anxious, I would frantically send out emails, chase new clients, and push myself relentlessly.

“If I don’t keep moving, I won’t earn anything.”

I believed this to be true, but my actions were driven by desperation.

When results didn’t come, my anxiety would grow even stronger, leading me to act even more frantically.

It was an endless cycle, an exhausting maze with no way out.

Without realizing it, that lifestyle had become my norm.

One day, my workload temporarily slowed.

The constant flood of email notifications that had filled my mornings suddenly ceased.

As I sat at my desk, I found myself with nothing urgent to do.

Previously, this would have sent me into a panic, compelling me to take action—to reach out to clients, to find something, anything, to work on.

But this time was different.

“Perhaps this is a sign.”

Instead of panicking, I chose to embrace the stillness.

I spent time reading a book with a cup of coffee, went for a walk, and simply gazed at the sky.

I allowed myself to experience the present moment, without the pressure of “having to do something.”

And then, something incredible happened.

A few days later, work inquiries began flowing in—more than before.

Not only that, but the projects I received were of higher value than ever before.

It was as if the flow of energy around me had expanded.

And then, another transformation occurred.

My relationship with my partner changed as well.

Conversations that were once dominated by financial worries had shifted.

“This month might be tough,” I had said more times than I could count.

But now, things were different.

“This month’s income was higher than expected.”

I could now share good news with a smile.

When our conversations changed, so did our relationship.

Before I knew it, we were spending more time discussing our future with excitement.

Looking back, my encounter with Okane-san was not just a coincidence.

Through my anxieties, I learned valuable lessons, and beyond overcoming them, a new world had opened up before me.

Without realizing it, I had stopped being controlled by money and had begun living alongside it.

I run my fingertips along the edge of the envelope, taking a steady breath.

Inside it lies something of deep significance to me.

A piece that connects my past and future, a symbol of progress.

Silently, I whisper, “Thank you.”

To be continued in Episode 3: “The Abundance Brought by the Cycle of Trust.”