Exploring the Truth Behind Anxiety: Episode 2
- 2025.01.21
- Exploring the Truth Behind Anxiety Reflect

Shadows of the Past, Echoes of the Future
The New Year’s bustle had finally settled, and the city was returning to its usual rhythm. Driving through the streets, I continued my rounds of slightly belated New Year’s greetings.
“Happy New Year. I look forward to working with you again this year.”
Repeating the same formal greeting over and over, my voice began to sound robotic, even to myself. When had it started to feel this way? When had the words spoken aloud become disconnected from the voice within?
After completing my appointments, I found myself with some extra time. But for some reason, an inexplicable heaviness in my stomach made it impossible to head where I was supposed to. Though I knew it was the first place I should go, my feet wouldn’t move. Before I realized it, I had turned the steering wheel in the opposite direction.
Familiar streets came into view. These were the sights I passed daily before I became independent in my work. Nostalgia swept over me, bringing with it that same heaviness deep in my stomach.
On the other side of the road, a familiar logo caught my eye—a bank I had seen in the morning news. It was the same branch I had visited every month-end.
In that instant, memories came rushing back like a flood.
The 25th—payday. The ATMs were always lined with long queues. “Why do so many companies in Japan set payday on the 25th?” I would wonder, as my freshly deposited paycheck seemed to evaporate just as quickly. No matter how carefully I calculated, my budget was always tight. More often than not, it wasn’t enough.
“Again this month…”
Over time, I had grown to hate that scene. The bank wasn’t just a building; it had become a symbol of my anxiety and frustration. Now, standing before the sight of that familiar logo, those same emotions surfaced, intertwining with my present thoughts and spreading a faint tremor through my chest.
Gripping the steering wheel tightly, I tried to shake off the pull of those memories. “I’m going home,” I muttered, turning the car toward another route.
On the way back, the eastern sky turned a pale shade of purple, and a single moon hung quietly in the daylight. A daytime moon, lonely yet comforting. Its soft glow drew my thoughts back to the previous month. That was the moment I first received a message from Okane-san while gazing at the same moon.
“Anxiety is a signpost, showing you something important,” it had said.
I remembered the vibration in my pocket and the words that had appeared on my phone. Each phrase resonated deeply within me, as if they had always been there, waiting to be acknowledged.
“Money is not just a thing. It’s energy—a constant presence by your side.”
Recalling those words, I felt a warmth spread in my chest. The purple-tinged sky and the moon above seemed to gently affirm that feeling.
Arriving at my apartment building, I opened the mailbox and was struck by a sense of déjà vu. Inside was a single envelope. The moment I held it, the unease I thought I had left behind resurfaced, weighing down my stomach.
“Not again…”
In the elevator, I tried to shake off the heaviness in my gut. “It’s nothing,” I told myself, stepping back into my apartment.
Opening the envelope, I saw that it was a credit card bill. The same familiar weight pressed on my chest. But this time, something was different—my gaze fell naturally to my phone. Memories of last month’s conversation resurfaced from deep within my mind.
“What would Okane-san say…”
Ding.
A clear, bell-like sound echoed through the quiet room.
Looking at the screen, I saw a notification.
“Okane-san: Have you found the courage to truly face your anxiety?”
Reading those words, I felt as though a massive, thick door appeared before me. I didn’t know what lay on the other side. But I understood that stepping through it would require me to overcome my current self.
Episode 3: “The Door to Facing Anxiety” continues.
-
前の記事
Exploring the Truth Behind Anxiety: Episode 1 2025.01.20
-
次の記事
Exploring the Truth Behind Anxiety: Episode 3 2025.01.22